讓人流更多淚的不是未應驗的祈禱而是應驗的。

『讓人流更多淚的不是未應驗的祈禱而是應驗的。』
-Capote.









Fight Test
Flaming Lips


i thought i was smart
i thought i was right
i thought it better not to fight
i thought there wwas a virtue in always being cool
so when it came time to fight
i thought i'll just step aside
and that time would prove you wrong
and you would be the fool
i dont know where the sunbeams end
and the starlight begins
it's all a mystery
oh to fight is to defend
if it's not now then tell me when
would be the time that you would stand up and be a man
for to lose i could accept
but to surrender i just wept
and regretted this moment
oh that i
i was the fool
i don't know where the sun beams end and the starlight begins
it's all a mystery and i don't know how
a man decides what's right for his own life
it's all a mystery cause i'm a man not a boy
and there are things you can't avoid
you have to face them when you're not prepared to face them
if i could i would but you're with him now
it'd do no good
i should have fought him but instead i let him
i let him take it
i don't know where the sunbeams end and the starlight begins
it's all a mystery and i don't know
how a man decides what's right for his own life
it's all a mystery











我想，Sunday會很高興吧。
很高興很高興吧，畢竟這是一種「像我們這種人」都太需要的認同感。
Believe it or not,
He would glad i like this song so well.


有時候很簡單的lyrics就可以感動人，
it's not 'bout luve, it's not 'bout hate.
It's all 'bout hesitating to be what you could, should, would be.
我們就是這樣。
歌詞說：
i thought i was righ, and that time would prove you wrong.


oh to fight is to defend
if it's not now then tell me when
would be the time that you would stand up and be a man
for to lose i could accept
but to surrender i just wept
and regretted this moment
我想起Fight Club小說裡頭的：沒有犧牲，我們什麼都不是。








其實，
再把事情精簡化一點，這首歌是一首關於「傲骨精神」的勵志歌曲。（呆滯的笑）



In fact, 其實我想到的是那傢伙，他應該也會很喜歡這首歌，很像是為他寫的一樣。
就因為我又跟那傢伙多麼的不一樣，要是與他做比較，我想我是軟弱的那一方，不能接受現實層面打擊的那一方，遇到挫折就會逃起來的那一方，還沒努力就會想要放棄的那一方……諸如此類，我們總稱：弱勢的那一方。
也因為我多麼羨慕那傢伙有我身上沒有的東西，他也有我身上想要擁有的那東西，
就因為那個傢伙，所以我不得不逼的我去面對自己殘廢的那些面向。我不算是樂觀的，更糟的是骨子裡幾乎都是不能痊癒的憂鬱。
我想說的是：
其實我不想輸給任何一個人，尤其是自己。但是很多事情都是偏偏的事情。
他唱：surrender i just wept，
難怪每每我總在黑暗哭泣，
以後反覆歌詠：to fight is to defend ，
原來受傷就是保護自己最好的方式。


就是遺忘了_________________________________
什麼時候，我被消耗掉了，有時候我望著別人的夢想，卻開始質疑了自己的未來…，
我是沒有理由眼睜睜看著自己的失敗的，這樣提前過著深居簡出的日子我不知道是好還是壞，
至少我滿足了眼前。
是時候該與未來對峙了…，but how?
It's all a mystery.



There are things you can't avoid,
you have to face them when you're not prepared to face them.
事出必有因。







我這幾天頭痛到不行（爆炸境界）→大概快感冒了（應該就快了）
大概就是像這樣吧。